Abyss
by GuiltyRed
Summary: Tseng teaches Reno the freedom of submitting to another’s will.


**Title:** Abyss  
**Author: **GuiltyRed**  
Rating: **R  
**Warnings:** language, mindfuckery, non-sexual gunplay  
**Word count: **1121**  
Prompt:** Tseng/Reno: Trust – _Seize the day, put no trust in tomorrow._  
**Summary: **Tseng teaches Reno the freedom of submitting to another's will.  
**A/N: **I had no idea where I wanted to go with this until about an hour ago. It's dark, mildly inspired by Metallica's "Unforgiven II," and set sometime between the dropping of the plate and the destruction of Meteor.

"Again."

Reno groaned. "Come on, you've been pushing me all fucking day!"

Tseng showed no change in his expression as he stated, "And I will push you all fucking night, if you don't shape up. Show me you're still alive, Reno. Do the exercise, and get it right this time."

Reno dragged in a deep and steadying breath, then took the obstacle course at a run. Already his suit reeked of sweat; dank hair clung to his neck in reckless tendrils. Reno kept his breathing even, letting the rush of adrenaline and mako contamination speed his feet without changing his heart rate. He flew through the course, then trotted unsteadily back to his leader's side. "There. Happy?"

"You skipped a part. Again."

Fast as hate, Reno grabbed a double handful of Tseng's too-neat suit. "Fuck you! And fuck your 'training'! I don't need this shit, I'm already on your goddamn payroll, yo! Or is this your way of getting rid of a problem, huh?"

"Reno."

The redhead relented with a weary sigh. "Doesn't matter, anyway, does it? I mean, we're all pretty much fucked now. Avalanche, ShinRa, the whole damn turdcake is done and cooked." He brushed out the wrinkles in Tseng's lapels and took a step back. "Why are you even bothering?"

Tseng gave no indication of intent, merely sprang into action faster than even Reno could follow, grappling the other man and throwing him against the nearest wall. With a precise shove, Tseng pinned him there, face so close to his that Reno could taste his breath. His voice, when he spoke, came out in a low, controlled growl. "You have no place asking me 'why' anything, Turk. You belong to me. You all do. You breathe by my will. You think what I need you to think. You make no action that I do not authorize. Do you understand this?"

Reno mumbled something and tried to avert his eyes; Tseng raised a hand to grip his chin and hold him still, denying him that escape.

"I asked you a question."

"Yeah." Reno glared murder at the man who commanded his life and death. "Yeah, all right?"

"I don't think you understand at all." Tseng released him so abruptly that Reno staggered. With quick, neat movements, Tseng untied and removed his tie. "Turn around."

"What the fuck, yo?" Reno nodded at the fabric in his leader's hands. "I don't do that shit."

"I gave you an order. Turn around, or do I shoot you where you stand?"

Reno paled visibly, eyes very wide. "Yo…Boss? You're not…?"

Tseng raised an eyebrow. "Not too long ago you were begging me to kill you, or had you forgotten that? Turn around."

Fresh sweat sprang out on Reno's forehead as he slowly turned to face away from his leader. He remained silent as Tseng placed the tie over his eyes and fastened it snugly behind his head. Rendered blind, Reno found his other senses flaring to compensate: every heartbeat echoed like thunder, every breath like storm winds.

He waited.

He didn't hear Tseng draw his gun, but he sure as hell heard him slide one bullet into the chamber.

As Reno began to tremble in earnest, Tseng spoke. "You are mine, Turk. You live at my will. You act on my command. You are my hands, my senses, and my duty." He pressed the muzzle of the gun into Reno's sweaty hair, nudging bone. "Do you trust me?"

A sob broke loose from Reno's throat; as if that were permission, tears sprang to his eyes and seeped into the black silk. "I don't want to die!"

"That wasn't the question. Do you trust me?"

"Yes!" Hysterical tremors shook Reno's slender frame, nearly bringing him to his knees. Only the pressure of the gun at his skull kept him upright. "Get it over with!"

"Did you drop the plate?"

"You know I did! You gave me the fucking order, you bastard! Do it!"

"I gave you the order, correct?"

"Yes." Reno sagged slightly, wishing Tseng would just hurry up and shoot him before his conscience could erode him any further.

"You are a Turk. You do as you're told."

"Yeah…"

"You are my hands in the field. You act on my orders, and mine alone. Without me, you are nothing."

Reno sensed that this discussion was winding down; if he were to fight back, it would have to be now.

He remained motionless. "Right, Boss. I'm just total shit."

"Wrong!" Tseng shouted, leaning in next to Reno's ear. "Again! As a Turk, do you have your own will? Or are you an extension of me?"

"I'm your goddamn bloodstained hands, all right?" Reno hissed between clenched teeth. "I dropped that fucking plate because you told me to! I'm your nightmares and your grief and –"

"You are nothing that I do not give you to be." Tseng reholstered his gun with the smooth sound of steel on leather. "And today I will you to live."

Reno gasped, startled. "Sir?"

"Yes, I gave you that order – but the action was mine. Flush that guilt: it's not yours to carry. I never gave it to you." Tseng carefully untied the blindfold and tucked it in his pocket. "Now. Do you still want to die today?"

Reno swallowed hard, mind reeling from the abrupt release. "No. I – do I?" He looked to Tseng for guidance, willing, for once, to accept it.

Tseng smiled, glad that his man had figured out the power of this game. "No. You do not. I think you may want a beer, though."

"Cigarette, yo."

Tseng nearly smiled as he spoke. "Ah, yes. That was it. You want a cigarette, then." He regarded Reno carefully, as though searching for cracks. "We don't have much time. Meteor hangs ever lower in the sky; I suggest you make whatever peace you can with yourself, then fight like hell to live a little longer." His eyes darkened as he added, "Remember, no guilt, Reno. I don't allow you to carry that for me. Now, you should go find Rude and do something about those nightmares. Tomorrow you finish the course properly. In a clean suit. Go on, you're done for today."

Too drained to bitch, Reno simply nodded and headed for the exit.

Tseng watched him go, then leaned back against the wall that still smelled of sweat and fear and self-loathing. "It is the Turks' lot to know the dimensions of the abyss, for we are the only ones crazy enough to measure it. I know what Reno saw when he looked in; I still wonder what the abyss saw when it looked back into me." He closed his eyes and drew his pistol.


End file.
